Newborn Hell

Postnatal Depression is a CURSE Nature’s kiss –

my newborn’s aura shines bright,

as tears of awe

flow silently

into pools of wonder.

All I had ever wanted

                                            and more.Yet it changed.

Oh. How. It. Changed.

Endless, screaming nights

where hell becomes reality,

where nothing will comfort or soothe,

where nightmares haunt my waking hours.

Where fear grapples me to the ground

over and over and over.My heart ripped cruelly to shreds.

Expectations tossed carelessly aside.As day upon day I trudge

through nappies and feeding and nappies

until I am

sucked down

into

desperate

depths.

Can’t see a way up from here.No escape.

No light.

No hope.A baby craving nurture.

A mother knocking to be free.

What now?

© Nicky Clifford 2016