When grey is painted through your life
and each small step is tough;
when brightness leaches from your soul
and it all feels too much.When tiredness weighs your eyelids down,
your body’s laced with lead;
when thoughts are tangled up in knots,
dense fog invades your head.When self-esteem has scarpered and
it leaves you feeling low;
when every move is effortful,
dread follows where you go.You over think, you over try,
you over do it too,
you can’t accept that rest is best
but keep on powering through.You run from it, you cannot see
that you are in this pit;
it feels like its your fault, that it
is you creating it.You did not want or make it so,
it is not, not your fault;
depression is a crafty foe,
insidious assault.And life becomes a battle where
you have to march to win;
put one foot then the other to
help each day to begin.You gather your resources, and
you muster all you are;
you call up all the courage that
you hope has not gone far.You go through all the motions as
if you are not quite there;
you’re heading back to normal on
your route back from despair.You do it all quite quietly and
you try not to be harsh;
you must treat you with kindness as
you navigate life’s marsh.It can feel overwhelming and
you want to run and hide,
but alternate the resting with
a trip or two outside.When fog starts slowly lifting, when
limbs loosen and feel light;
when smiles appear, surprising you
and some days feel alright.When hope dips in and out and the
pitch blackness starts to fade;
when life’s a little easier,
see progress that you’ve made.You wish all days were carefree, that
the darkness never fell;
you wish your heart would sing far more,
you’d always feel this well.You wish your life was lighter and
your footsteps danced in time;
you wish depression’s blasted cloak
would not hide your sun’s shine.Acceptance is the hardest part
and not to fight the pain;
and not to reprimand yourself
for feeling low again.But kindness, take a gentle path,
and nurture back to health
the part of you that’s hurting on
this journey back to self.And know that it’s okay to trudge,
that sometimes that’s the key;
to wrap yourself in love until
you’re flying high and free.
© Nicky Clifford, 2016
Wow. I adore this so much, thank you for writing such a poignant and beautiful poem. I resonated with it so much as I not only have depression, I also have anxiety and debilitating chronic illnesses. Will you be printing copies of this? X
Hi Kaisha
Thank you so much for your lovely comments feedback about my poem – written from the heart.
I am sorry you suffer with depression, anxiety and a debilitating chronic illness – it can be so tough to get through each day when you are having to cope with all of that. I feel for you.
I am not currently planning on printing this, but I am thinking about, in time, producing a book of poems.
Please feel free to print off a copy or two for your own use, as long as the (c) stays on it!
Take good care of yourself and thank you again for your feedback – it means a lot to touch people with my words.
Nicky x