Passed Her Best

Joan

Slender Joan was very slim;

she spent her spare time down the gym.

She wriggled here and strutted there,

and tossed about her glossy hair. 

Crossword ShamAt forty, she was looking great;

the sort of woman, women hate.

The men, they gawped and gaped and sighed.

“It’s Joanie! Over here!” they cried. 

Crossword ShamEyes-a-flutter, sparkling teeth.

Who cares what’s hidden underneath?

The figure-hugging latest craze

had men admiring in a daze. 

Crossword ShamThe years went by and still she squeezed

into the clothes designed for teens.

Deep wrinkles ploughed across her face;

the make-up pooled in thick disgrace. 

Crossword ShamHer heels were high, she tottered on;

men hid when Joanie tripped along.

Her hair was dull and roots were grey.

‘Oh Joan,’ they sneered. ‘You’ve had your day.’ 

Crossword ShamRed lipstick startled, leaking far

as Joan propped up the well-worn bar.

She tried to pout and make a pass

but age was catching up too fast. 

Crossword ShamThe men who once had swarmed around,

not one of them was to be found.

So Joan’s alone, in quite a state,

still hoping to attract a mate. 

Crossword ShamAnd women who all dress quite fine

in glamour that befits their time,

they pity Joan, who thinks they’re drab

and wouldn’t swap the life they have. 

Crossword Sham“I’ll sit, I’ll flirt, I’ll dress to thrill,

you’ll find me here at ninety still.

No knitting, cat, nor crossword sham

can satisfy the Joan I am.” 

Crossword Sham“I do not care what others say.

I’m happy as I am this way.

I’ve lived my live to fullest wealth,

whilst you stagnate upon your shelf.” 

Crossword ShamAnd so sits Joan, all hunched and old

with mini skirt of red and gold.

She doesn’t care. She thinks she’s best:

still waiting for her next conquest.

 

 © Nicky Clifford, 2016

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