‘Effortlessly’ Preened!

effortlessly preened web I waft around with carefree ease

As if I always shine

You’ve no idea the work it took

And how much ‘pamper time’ . . .

Effortlessly preened 2 WebSo hair is the big problem that

I need to pluck away

Cause caterpillar eyebrows will

Invade my face to play

Effortlessly preened 2 WebAnd places where the men are meant

To proudly boast a ‘tashe

I stare with abject horror at

My darkened lip-hair stash

Effortlessly preened 2 WebSo bleach onslaughts the ghastly mess

Till ‘female’ is restored

Whilst other hair is thriving in

The places I’ve ignored

Effortlessly preened 2 WebThe razor glides and cuts it dead

Till smooth replaces hair

Such gleaming legs, but OH SO WHITE!

I’m dazzled by their glare

Effortlessly preened 2 WebIt’s on with tan from bottled source

To dull the white-legged glow

The patchy streaks will have to do

I hope they will not show

Effortlessly preened 2 WebAnd is that ‘grey’ upon the mop

Of hair upon my head?

I thought I’d watch the telly, but

Must dye my hair instead

Effortlessly preened 2 WebNow plucked and shaved and dyed and tanned

I think I’m nearly done

Oh God! Forget the make-up, I

Will frighten everyone . . .

Effortlessly preened 2 WebThe war-paint fixed, as with the smile

I’m feeling quite worn out

My toe nails house the garden mud

Are “FAR TOO LONG!” I shout

Effortlessly preened 2 WebI file and clean and polish, so

My sandals do not scare

If only I could like the style I’ve

Mastered for my hair

Effortlessly preened 2 WebPull on, pull off, the mass of clothes

I don’t know what to wear

I’m shattered from this preening and

I’m starting not to care

Effortlessly preened 2 WebFix hair with spay, at last I’m done

To face the human race

With not a strand of hair or such

Appearing out of place

Effortlessly preened 2 WebSo striding forward, my head held high

No longer in despair

I like to seem quite effortless

‘Deception’, with a flare!

© Nicky Clifford 2016

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